Home Sweet Home

It’s been two and a half years since I put the pen to paper (or fingers to the keyboard) and wrote a blog.  I’ve missed it! This was my ultimate out. My out loud journal. Reflecting on my thoughts and sharing them with the world, well at least those sweet souls who wanted to read it. March 2017, was my last expressive  post. I guess you could say  merrymemoriesbymichele took a hiatus of sorts. A lot of life has happened since that post. We had just moved to Tennessee from my home state of O-H-I-O, or as some call it Buckeye country. Lifetime midwesterners relocating to the Volunteer State and settling in Music City USA. I quickly found myself without a job, without my friends and without the freedom of owning our own home. I questioned “what the heck did we just do?” more than a time or two. I did not think finding a job was going to be quite as challenging as it had become. I wasn’t aware of the skyrocketing housing market in middle Tennessee. I also did not realize how difficult making new friends, in a new city would be, considering I had plenty that I had considered family in Ohio. Fast forward two and a half years later and I can say that we are absolutely in love with the new state that we get to call home. Kevin and I both have great jobs, we are slowly making new friends, we have two (of our three) beautiful girls living in the same city, sort of ;) and lastly we have begun a new journey, building a brand new home. We will once again be turning a blank canvas of bare walls into a colorful scrapbook of memories in our new home sweet home. I am so super excited to finally have something (as big as a house) to call our own once again. Building a new home can be so much fun, yet oh so stressful, especially the moving part! However, I know once the moving boxes have all been emptied and the rooms have all been filled, I will not look back I will only move forward to the next chapter. A new season of life, putting the past seasons in the rear view mirror. We can still look back and smile at all that we can see behind us, but looking ahead at all that is yet to come. Thank you all for letting put my words on a computer screen to share for so many years, I appreciate your support and to many your friendship ❤️  Welcome all  to this new season, let the journey begin. 🏡  @theoakleycottage  

“Get your outside work done; make preparations in the field; then you can build your house.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭24:27‬ ‭

OPEN LETTER TO A TOXIC FRIEND

I think this is one of the hardest things I have put into words in a long time. I have a lot to say but I seem to be fumbling my words. Part of me thinks I should not publicize these thoughts and then the other side me is saying "no go ahead, you could potentially help another." You see what started out as a personal letter in a journal is now going to be made public on a blog, with my name on it (uh-oh). These thoughts of mine (sometimes random) are not always amusing, sometimes they are for my own healing and sometimes they are for nothing at all other than a journal entry not worthy of sharing. Sometimes the best medicine or therapy is sitting alone with my thoughts. So here goes...

Dear Toxic Friend:

Many moons ago I called you my friend. Once enjoying our endless conversations, impromptu lunches, sipping glasses of wine on my patio and the comfort of your freindship. We spent countless hours talking, laughing, crying, sharing stories, vacationing and basically living life as life-long friends. We had a history. I considered you and your family as my own, for many years. It wasn't until I exited this relationship that it became evident that it had become toxic. It seemed the older we got the more toxic it became.

When we talked I always seemed to think my life was becoming less than ideal. My career path wasn't acceptable, or my husband needed to change. The neighborhood I chose to live in was less than perfect. My choice of friends were below certain standards, or as you would say "they weren't your cup of tea."  Little did I know that your words had become so influential. These things stung like a bee on my lip on a hot summer day. You became so incredibly critical of everything and everyone. Slowly I began following in your footsteps and heading down the same path. We put God in the backseat and he should have been driving! So many were offereing love (unconditional) but you could not reciprocate. Instead of facing the mirror you turned it on everyone else. You brought out the worst in me. The ugly deep dark other side of me. I became angry, I beacame weak, and pretty much a fool in your presence. Not because you belittled me all the time but because you were belittling others. 

I am now thankful for the day that we cut ties. Ending our friendship brought so many things to light. My relationships have been strengthened by the dismissal of the toxicity that once hovered. I began to surround myself with positive people who helped me become a better version of myself. This is something I work on everyday. Never perfecting just moving forward in hopes that I will impact others, during my time on earth, in a positive way. 

I don't ever wish you harm. I just pray that one day you will become aware of all the people you have hurt with your negative attitude. It isn't a pretty trait and no one deserves to be treated in such a demeaning manner. Thank you for helping me to see that is not the person I want to be.

Sincerely, 

Your Ex-friend 

You see relationships have a huge impact in our lives. Positive or negative, friendships affect so many important areas of our lives; marriage, children, family, health, careers, etc. When they turn toxic generally those same areas are affected in a negative way as well. This is true for friendships and relationships of any kind. What relationships do you cherish the most? How much work goes into those relationships? What about commitment to those? Do you work on those important relationships everyday? I hope so...

Believe me I am no expert and am just voicing my own opinion in hopes to help someone else avoid the downfalls of a toxic relationship. 

If you find yourself reading this do me a favor and for a minute just take a good look at yourself, 

Are you being the best version of yourself? Why live unhappily ever-after?

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a comapnion of fools will suffer harm~Proverbs 13:20

Valentine's Day with Crappy Chocolates-

February 14, Valentine's Day...A day marked on our calendars with a heart. Stores fill their aisles with a variety of red and pink colors. We buy fun whimsical cards, decadent boxes of chocolate and beautiful long stem red roses for our loved ones. It's a day for romance! I can remember the excitement of making card boxes the night before the Valentine exchange in grade-school. Each box delicately decorated with aluminum foil or red wrapping paper, adorned with heart-shaped doilies and construction paper hearts, I am not too sure any Elementary age child (these days) would approve of such a barbaric Valentine's Day box. In 1980 though...well let's just say that was one snazzy box! Remember that feeling of eagerly waiting to open up those shoe boxes to read all those little cards? You would pull that lid off the box and open up every single one of those cards, reading the greetings of friendship, love and playful good fortune. Maybe even analyzing every word on one particular Valentine card; you know the one that was from the boy or girl you had been crushin' on since Christmas break. Every year my Dad would bring home several of those decadent boxes of chocolates to my Mom and to me (I am sure my sisters and brother) got one too, but I can only remember how excited I was to get mine. My Mom's was always the biggest box, wrapped in shiny red cellophane or a heart shaped box adorned in lace and ribbon. The box would have each chocolate labeled to let you know what you were getting, it would be clearly noted on the top of the box. My box wasn't as extravagant as my mothers, it was smaller and I know I only liked half of the chocolates inside that box. I specifically remember carefully inspecting my assortment of chocolates picking one, possibly smelling it, eventually biting into one and having that disappointing deflation when I bit into the disgusting gooey strawberry filling. I would put it back half eaten into the liner inside that box. Not sure if I thought someone else would like a half eaten disgusting chocolate or what, but that's what I did. I have carried on this same tradition with my kids every year, every February 14, a box of chocolates on Valentines's Day. Yesterday was no different even at 19 and 26, my kids were given hand delivered boxes of chocolates on Valentine's Day.

Except yesterdays box of chocolates was a little more like what Forrest Gump had stated many years ago. "My Momma always said; Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are gonna get." Yesterday was definitely a strawberry filled milk chocolate kind of day.The kind you wanna throw back in the box and wish it was never there in the first place.  I was really hoping for the heart-shaped red ribbon and lace box of chocolates that would be carefully identified. It all started the night before (the eve of Valentine's Day?)...

As many of you know my daughter adopted a dog from the animal shelter last year. A sweet, rambunctious little puppy named Liberty (she adopted her July 3). She soon labeled herself "single-puppy mom." What followed were many sleepness nights, puppy biting, countless hours of potty training, crate training, separation anxiety (for my daughter not the dog), it was a true labor of love, as most dog (or animal) owners know. Hurdle after hurdle she and her little Libby Lou tackled them all. Libby is a gentle-natured, playful pup, loves picking up sticks, lover of all people, and my daughter's best friend (or like she likes to say "my child"). For more than 7 months these two have been inseparable. It's more like Tori and Libby Lou take on the world! Several months ago Libby fell sick and began losing weight, -it was quickly realized that she had what the vet described as a sensitive stomach. Tori had to boil chicken and rice, wipe out all treats and basically reintroduce food on a trial and error basis. Slowly Libby returned to normal, started gaining weight and Tori found a good meal fit for her.  Weekend adventures and dog parks were back on the calendar. Until Monday February 13, when Libby fell ill once again. Tori came home from work and noticed Libby had thrown up. No big deal dogs throw up from time to time. She carefully gave her water and fed her at her normal dinnertime. It came up again, and again, and again...something was off. Libby continued to throw up every two hours through the night. The sun came up on Feb. 14 and it was evident something was seriously wrong with Libby. Now I realize some of you are thinking "it's a dog, just put her in her crate and go to work and she will be just fine." To my daughter this is her baby, to my husband and I this is our Grandpuppy. We have not yet been blessed with human grandchildren so for now this is all we have, so bear with us :) Tori first called us at 6am with the "what do I do" call, she had to take off work (something she never does) and then she called her vet and had Libby there by 9:30am. Dropping off her "baby" for testing and not really knowing what was going on with Libby, with tears Tori reluctantly headed to work. Several hours later the Vet called with preliminary news concluding with we still don't know what is wrong with Libby. She was dehydrated and they had to give her fluids, and get her to stop throwing up, they performed x-rays, tested for viruses, performed blood work but for now all the doctor was saying was she was filled with gas. Okay great so we have a dog that has lots of gas...what does that really mean? Let's just say that is the best scenario. They were waiting a few hours to perform another x-ray so for now we wait...

The second x-ray confirmed there was something inside Libby that needed to come out. What was it you say? Well that was our question too. Did she get a hold of something that was blocking her tract? Something was in her intestines and it was making her a very sick puppy. Tori's regular Vet referred her to a specialist, and she needed to be seen asap, letting it go would mean letting Libby go. 

Emergency Vet...I went to pick up Tori to drive her and pick up Libby to take her to the Emergency Vet. We had all her info, test information, and x-ray CD in hand. Tori and Libby went back, leaving me in the waiting room where I found myself praying for that little puppy and her mommy as well. I am not sure you are aware of the costs involved with Vet services (let alone Emergency Vet services) but I also found myself praying for the means, the strength and guidance to afford these services. An hour must have passed and then Tori sent the text...Libby needs immediate surgery. Tears began to fill my eyes, a conflicted feeling in my heart for a dog that is like a family member to us. I watched Tori walk out of that examining room alone with a stream of tears in her eyes for the love of Libby- I wanted to cry but I knew I needed to be her strength. I can remember when my own Mom would accompany me on many of Tori's countless doctor visits and tests. She was my strength during so many difficult times. Maybe Libby is "just a dog" but she is our family and in a way when I see Tori with Libby I know someday Tori is going to be a great Mom. Libby immediately began being prepped for surgery and we made our way to the desk to finish up the information needed. I am sure this was one of the longest nights for Tori. She would say "no news is good news right?" She finally got the call 4 hours after leaving Libby, she was out of surgery and it went well. What did they find? I was waiting to hear that they found something outrageous like a sock or a coin or something to make a great story. instead they found a combination of material from sticks and debris to some sort of spongy substance. I asked Tori if they could put it in a jar for her to examine. Anyway, as of today our little Libby Lou is doing well and is finally able to eat and drink. She will have a six week recovery ahead, will sport an attractive cone and will have about 12 inches of stitches on her abdomen. She is still at the Vet hospital being monitored and will make her way home most likely tomorrow.  I am no Saint Francis but I do love animals and cherish the joy they bring to us everyday. I can't wait to see Tori and Libby Lou conquer the world once again. 

I am hoping today goes much better than yesterdays milk chocolate strawberry filled dud. Today the sun rose once again and It is more like a dark chocolate caramel sea salt sort of day. 

"For the life of every living thing is in his hand"-Job 12:10

CIAO

It was Tuesday August 30, 2016...

I was just chit-chatting it up on my cell phone with a friend of mine when the home phone rang; Telemarketer..credit card company calling for Robert Yates (whoever that may be)...political call...Kidney foundation...? Caller ID isn't very helpful in today's day and age. Oh wait I DO recognize this name, but why are they calling me? These were my true thoughts (in a matter of seconds) as the phone rang. With a bit of a chuckle I say "I gotta go Romeo's Pizza is calling me." In my mind I was thinking "did someone order a pizza in my name and they are calling to confirm?"  So I answer and the scenario plays out just like this; " Hello, Michele?" My response a very sure yet unsure "Yes." "Hi this is Ryan Rose CEO of Romeo's Pizza" um...okay...you wanna know how many emoji's I could use right now to describe my feelings at that moment... He continues... "I'm sitting here with Bree (Director of Marketing) and we would like to tell you that out of almost 1500 entries you have been chosen our Grand Prize Winner of the Romeo's Pizza 15yr Anniversary Love Story Contest! Wait, what? Are you kidding me? I can't be on candid camera as I am the only one here and I am on the phone and not on TV. Did I even tell anyone I entered this contest? Who would play a trick on me like this? OMG this is for real, I'm laughing, have goosebumps, shaking and ultimately sweating. Okay pull it together Michele...Ryan continues on...you have won a nine day trip for two to Italy. I was shocked, my entry won. I won a trip to Italy! I remember entering the contest and thinking it would be great to win one of the prizes like an ipad, Keith Urban Tickets, Cleveland Indians Tickets, I mean a free pizza would be awesome. I am pretty sure this win tops my previous memorable wins $300 bingo win a few years back and the giant Disney Store Simba stuffed animal some 20 years ago. 

For 3 months Romeo's Pizza asked its customers for their "Love Story" on a quest for the greatest Love Story in Ohio.  So I thought what the heck I might as well give it a try. Little did I know or even dream that my story would make it to the top 200 and eventually the sole winner (along with Kevin of course) of the grand prize. 

For three weeks I have searched my computer and every Word document in search of the The Love Story with no avail. Would I really write something without using spellcheck? Apparently so... All I could remember was that it had to be a certain number of characters. I also knew it focused on not only our love but the love he and my girls shared. So I would wait nearly 3 weeks to get the copy of the winning essay and what I had written word for word. So by now I am sure you are wondering about that "Love Story" so here it is:

My love story goes back about 24 years. I was a single mom of two beautiful girls (4 & 2). I had gone back to college and was focused on getting my degree. Little did I know that would lead me to meeting the most amazing man. This man not only loved me but loved my girls as his own. Our first date was not very eventful we went to the movies. But eventually our outings went from being a couple to being a family. You see it takes a special man to see beyond the fact that you are a single mom at 22. The love story was more than just him and me. It was watching my girls fall in love with this man as well, as their dad. We have been married for 21 years and now have three beautiful girls! I may not win the Romeo's prize but my prize is really my Romeo, who I call Kevin and my three girls call dad.

That's it folks short and sweet The Love Story of Michele and Kevin in all it's glory. A Major Award except it's not a lamp and not delivered in a box with FRAGILE (it must be Italian ;) written all over it. Our Story was unique to us, just like your story is to you. I never could have imagined it would would lead us on a trip to Italy.

This past June Kevin and I celebrated our 21st Wedding Anniversary. We are still a Love Story in progress... 

So, the next time you are contemplating whether or not to enter a contest or try your hand at writing an essay for the win-GO FOR IT! You have nothing to lose but oh so much to gain.

Arrivederci amica mia!

PS-Thank you to all our friends and family who have supported Kevin and I, as well as our girls, for many many years. We love every one of you! 

THE LOST BLOGS

The resurrection of the Myspace Blogs:

Before Blogspot I was a Myspace blogger. I discovered these beauties while fishing through Microsoft Word today. Keep in mind these babies were written well over 6 years ago. Some made me cry, some made me laugh and some, well let's just say some did not make the cut to post on my Blogspot! 

Myspace Blog #1-

Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind...

Memories, sweetened thru the ages just like wine....

Memories, memories, sweet memories.

My sister uploaded some old pictures to her Myspace. As most of you know my Dad
is a photographer and always has a camera in hand, ALWAYS! I began looking at
all of those pictures and seriously laughed out loud. There is some funny stuff.  I was with
my sister when she found them at my Dad’s house (and these were just the basement pics). The stack she has, doesn’t come even include the pictures that were upstairs, not to mention the slides…¦oh my, we seriously will never be deprived of pictures, that’s for sure.

Anyway as a picked through the stack I came to the very last picture, I am holding back tears,
right now. It is a beautiful picture of my mom in her wedding dress. A wedding dress which she made. Yes folks she sewed her own wedding dress! I think it was like a size 00!  Looking at this picture I
went back and looked at the others she was in. I miss her beyond words, it will
be 15 years this week that she passed away.  I can remember that day like it was
yesterday. It was one of those days you only want to go through once. My life, (our lives) my family  changed forever.  Yes I know we all move on, but nothing will ever mend that place in my heart. I wish she was still here, I wish I could just call her she would always understand, no matter what the circumstance. She always had kind wise words, for everyone. She was my rock, I needed her and I know she needed me. I am grateful for the life she gave me. She made a difference while she was here on earth.....

I am writing this in hopes that when you read it you will look at your loved ones and remember that tomorrow they may be gone.

Enjoy the little things because that is what makes the memories. It is not about where you live it is not about how much money you have or if you have the latest and greatest gadget out right now. It’s about showing each other respect, listening to your kids, taking time to play, learning and growing with family, appreciating
your husband for being a great provider (in many ways) and for how hard he works (Yes, I know I was just complaining about his annoying habit of chewing potato chips with that loud, maddening crunch-just let me have my moment, okay!) Keeping your friends close and enjoying the silliness that follows. Keep in mind you can always make a difference in someone’s life....

I have a daughter who I am
now estranged from and it kills me inside. One
person can change a person forever, remember that! I hope you choose to
change a life for the better.....

Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something --
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.~ Author unknown....

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark
of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than 10,000 tongues. They
are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of
unspeakable love. ~ ..Washington.. ....Irving....

I miss you mom!

Myspace Blog #2-

Mock Prom Party-

I am sure some of you don't get my humor, but heh it's me and quite frankly, I think I am FUN!

This year was Tori's Senior Prom. WOW Senior Prom, do you remember THE Prom? The joy of getting all dressed up, getting a date, dancing, the food, souvenirs, pictures, being with your friends, drinking (for some ahem) and doing everything your mother told you not to do! Staying out to all hours of the night, staying out ALL night! Boy, how times change (for some).

Any who, in the midst of getting Tori ready for Prom I thought, why not have my own "Mock" Prom Party. Of course some of you are probably saying WHY? Well the answer is simple, I like to have fun, I like to be with friends, I like to have parties and quite frankly it sounded like a ton of fun!

Of course there would be some stipulations. You need to wear a prom dress-ha-ha; try getting into your old one-it somehow doesn't quite fit the same. (oh and neither does that wedding dress, what a fiasco that was-thanks Missy for helping me, Missy was looking for the camera as I was stuck in the dress with my husband trying to get the thing off of me- all the while I was sweating and feeling a bit claustrophobic. Granted, if you have not been married and/or have not had any children you are definitely at an advantage. However, dresses that don't exactly fit, or eighties themed dresses seem to work best, for laughs and for the memory J

Dates-well let's just say stag may be a better way to enjoy yourself at Prom.Big Hair-that's your prerogative, but I think Aqua Net has been banned, something about a hole in the ozone layer?

Oh and by the way Tori looked beautiful as always.

The pictures have been posted so go and enjoy a good laugh.

If you didn't make Prom Court this year, there is always next year.

Needless to say this was another memorable "Prom" for all those who attended.

Myspace Blog #3-

Christmas remains my favorite holiday, my favorite time of the year. The magic and spirit that surrounds us at Christmas is unlike any other time of the year. Do you remember being little and the joy you felt knowing it was Christmas? Watching snowflakes fall from the sky like you have never seen snow before? Taking a drive with your parents and looking at the wondrous display of lights, especially when it snowed and the glow of the glistening snow was breathtaking? Decorating the Christmas tree and each ornament told a story? The smell of freshly baked cookies, that mom had just taken out of the oven? Knowing Christmas Eve was soon approaching and the magical night would bring a a bounty of beautifully wrapped presents. Listening to Santa's track (on WWVA) on your way home from relatives houses, wondering how they knew where he was. Yes  I know the hustle and bustle of this wondrous holiday get the best of us, now that we are "older" and have become parents. But take a moment this Holiday season and see Christmas through your Child's eyes...Merry Christmas and have a Happy Holiday Season.

And if you missed the newspaper (USA Weekend) today I have included an excerpt to commemorate the 110th Anniversary of Francis P. Church's famous reply to a Virginia O'Hanlon's question "Is there a Santa Claus."

Yes, Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus-Francis P. Church, an editorial writer for the New York Sun, probably said it best.

110 Christmases ago when Virginia O'Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor, saying: ''I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, 'If you see it in the Sun, it's so.' Please tell me the truth. Is there a Santa Claus?''

His response in 1897:

Dear Virginia:

Your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe expect what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little.

In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there no Virginias.

There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus.

The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unforeseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which neither the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart.

Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernatural beauty and glory beyond. It is all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world, there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives, and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

And this was my favorite modern day response by Kristy Eckert of "The Columbus Dispatch"

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

I suppose Googling your question did not yield a definitive answer, my dear, or you would not have written. Web searches cannot provide answers to life's most crucial queries.

Today's world forces you to be sophisticated beyond your eight short years, Virginia, so let me be straight. People will lie to you, no matter how genuine your smiles. They will work to convince you that clouds don't make shapes, that no one hears your wishes when you blow out your birthday candles, that Santa Claus isn't real.

But challenge them to prove that such beauty does not exist, and I promise you they will fail. Santa's existence is as certain as your knowledge of every last hip shake to the "High School Musical" dances. He's as true as your dreams of singing on "American Idol."

He is a reality that TV cannot bring to a show, for he has little time to waste on those who need his presence proved. His spirit is reserved for those who see diamonds in the snow. It is retained for children who may have Webkinz to kiss, but who still leave carrots for the reindeer before snuggling into bed.

Think on it, bright Virginia: Are any of your greatest treasures things you can hold or touch? What is it that shoots your arms into the air after you've scored a soccer goal? That crinkles your nose with laughter when your grandpa tickles you? That delights your tongue when you lick an ice cream cone? Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. You should not have to see to believe, young girl -- you must simply open your soul and feel.

Myspace blog #4-

It seems not long ago, I sat with you in my arms rocking you to sleep. Looking at you with wonder, how could I be so blessed with something as beautiful and adoring as you, so perfect in every single way. I promised to provide for you, take care of you, be there for you, protect you and I swore I would never let anything ever happen to you. So young, at the time yet I thought I was so mature, Ha!

In a heartbeat, it seemed, you were walking, talking, and before long off to school you went. All the while I was at a place in my life where I was trying to find myself, and make good on that promise to provide for you, take care of you, and so on.  Much of the time I was working hard, focused on school and getting a degree in order to give you and your sister the life I had hoped for. Unanticipated, along the way, the most amazing man came along, no questions asked, he loved me for me and he loved my two daughters as if they were his own. I do not look back and regret any decisions that I have made. Everything happens for a reason, though we may not believe it when we are going through it, in the end it always rings true.

Life can be so cruel, let's face it parenthood is no easy task no matter what the age. Whether you are 16, 22, 28 or even 40, nothing is easy when it comes to raising a child. Yes maybe different stages of your life you may be better off financially, emotionally, etc., but nothing can ever prepare you for the journey of parenthood.

My parents taught me a good deal about family values and I hoped to instill that same, compassionate, strong sense of family in my own kids. Hopefully someday you will understand. As for now, well I guess I will have to give you the distance and have strength that you gain the integrity to come around and see that yes indeed it is your family that cares for you the most and is there for you in troubled times. Whether or not you like what they have to say or not.

I have never claimed to be the perfect mom, since I too was learning as you grew. But as for you and your sister I think you have turned out pretty well, for the most part. No matter what happens I will always love you with all my heart, and my love for you continues to grow.

Never go back, never hold regrets, and always strive for more. I hope God blesses your every day and is there for you when you need him. I love you and know that you will always be "my little girl."

4/25/2007

Myspace Blog #5-

Laughter sometimes is the best medicine

Recently I took a trip to Idlewild with my sister Shawn, her kids and my daughter. We had been planning this trip for several weeks. We had gone in the past and each time we went, there would be a story to accompany each and every trip. This trip would prove to be no different. My "other" sister Dana was supposed to join us, but had a change of plans at the last minute. I'm sure she is grateful she changed her mind. The day started with rain, yes of course it was raining in St.C, but not in Ligonier, PA, where we were headed. We decided to venture on despite the rain. What are the chances it will rain all day in Ligonier? Pretty, pretty good, apparently. We headed east, not a problem. The kids were great in the car. The rain did not last all that long while were driving. It began to clear the closer we got to Idlewild. I happened to be on the cell phone and Shawn took a wrong exit. I ended the call to help her out, when we realized we were on a Turnpike exit, had to pay to get off the exit,  had to pay to turn around and get off the turnpike. Okay we were good for a little while longer. UNTIL…we got to the Idlewild exit. Somehow Shawn and I missed the sign for Idlewild/Ligonier once we got off the exit. We were supposed to get on Route 30(?), I believe? Of course Shawn was on the phone that time. Note to self, do not talk on phone when you do not know where you are going!

Anyway, we were lost, with no gas (literally the gas light had come on a while back) in the middle of Nowhere, PA. Our phone service had diminished. Even though my sister and I had been to Idlewild several times, we managed to veer way off course this trip. Blame old age I guess. Or talking....We were definitely on the wrong road; I got out the atlas and decided I would guide us there-ahem. However we were lost on THAT road at one point also lost on route 381. I remember seeing that sign a dozen or more times. It started out kind of funny at first, but then we really couldn't find the road we needed and it didn't seem all that funny anymore. It was a beautiful country road with rolling hills and lots of nice houses and people were bicycling all over that road, probably because it was in the middle of NOWHERE and there are NO gas stations so everyone rides bicycles! Lo and behold we did finally make it to a gas station AND Idlewild AFTER missing the entrance. It was seriously hidden behind the rows of evergreen trees (honest we are not that LAME), and almost going the wrong way on the two lane highway!  It took us about 3 hours, maybe slightly more, to get there from St.C.  Okay well I have already written a book and the story isn't even over.

The very nice elderly woman at the entrance, and quite knowledgeable I must add, gave Shawn all the instructions, Soak Zone info, Idlewild info, parking info, on and on. Of course once we proceeded onward toward the parking lot, we couldn't figure out where the heck we were supposed to go. And neither of us had a clue what that woman had just said. At one point we actually thought we were leaving the park and had to pay again to get back in. Honestly I do not know where our brains were. At this point we were ready to turn around and head back home-if we could in fact find our way back!

Once we did arrive inside the park, all was well, or so we thought. The kids were mapping out their course for the day and what to do next. Landen of course had other plans. My sister's 3 year old son was all over the place. We ran through Raccoon Lagoon, ran through Storybook Forest, because he WAS that quick, I think he may have even jumped the candlestick!  I don't even remember their being anyone else in the Storybook Forest part of the park.  I am sure you saw the picture of my sister retrieving the 4th Little Pig? He jumped the fence into the little pig area. He jumped the fence to the seven dwarfs cottage.. He jumped in bed with the big, bad wolf.  Oh and I skipped the part about the rain. It began to pour shortly after we got there, kind of put a damper on the day. A slow, cold rainy drizzle, all day. The rides closed once because of thunder and lightning.  It did not last long, thankfully.  Mr. Roger's Neighborhood was quite pleasant and entertaining as always, except the woman behind us was on Xanax or something, because it was a way too happy world for her!

Shawn with a broken toe and I with my plantar fasciitis, it wasn't exactly ideal to be walking on. However we all survived, all along thinking that someone, somewhere was truly out to get us with a voodoo doll, if you are, not funny. In the end the kids ended up having a great time, the adults on the other hand, well maybe not so great? However we did find the humor and laughed all the way home, without getting lost at all. We do get a good laugh when we talk about it. But I still feel as if it was something out of the TWILIGHT ZONE-Ahh the memories.

Myspace Blog #6-

For those of you who have been at my house at Christmastime, you will so get it. The Griswold's are at it again-UGH!!!! You know what? The Griswold's is actually a compliment, considering it actually looks like Christmas threw up on their lawn, their house, their backyard, need I go on? I swear they drain the spirit of Christmas right out of me. Their yard is nothing but a bunch of crappy, cheap, Christmas decorations in disarray! Oh and this year let's put it all to music and have them blinking? What the heck?!

A group of people in the neighborhood hold a contest every year for the best decorated house. Well they won the first year they were here. Why? I don't know, I guess the contest was supposed to be for the tackiest decorations. Every year it has gotten worse. They had a nativity last year with Santa Claus standing behind it like Santa was saying "Praise the Lord, Baby Jesus is here!" AND they think we are in some kind of competition with them. If I put out 3 presents, they put out 15 presents. HELLO! "Your decorations look like crap I AM NOT trying to copy you!  Tawdry, gaudy and tasteless, Christmas PUKE! Do I sound bitter, well I AM! I told my friend Missy to ride past my house and look at my decorations, last year. I had put up a Christmas village and a tree in the front room window I wanted to know how it looked. WELL she was too distracted by the crap across the street she FORGOT TO LOOK! SO I then went out around the block to see how it looked and I TOO became too DISTRACTED looking at the CRAP across the street I FORGOT TO LOOK!!! Needless to say our side of the street totally gets overlooked at Christmas. What irks me more than anything is that Missy and I  "tastefully" decorate with an actual theme. People will say, "Oh I don't remember your house being decorated"-UGH I AM STEAMING!! Oh and they also blow fuses constantly because of all the lights. They put out those dim-witted, dumb blow-ups. Which if you have them, they are TACKY, do everyone a favor, unplug it and destroy it! And they line their yard with two ounce large light up candy canes that blow over anytime the wind blows.  AAHH! I can't stand it! BAH HUMBUG! Okay, Clark let the games begin!

Update: these neighbors have since moved but I have to laugh thinking about the years I dreaded "decorations" and the months that went by because they did not take them down timely.

"Mom can we get some ice cream?"

"Mom Can we get some ice cream?"

Senior year is winding down. The "baby" is nearing graduation day. Eighteen years goes faster than you think, thanks Kenny(Chesney). I guess he was right when he said (or sang) the oh so true ballad "Don't Blink." How can this be? The baby of the family will adorn the white cap and gown and make her way down the aisle of the same church that her sisters did a mere 10 and 8 years ago for the commencement ceremony. A new chapter in her life, a new chapter in our lives.

Some days I'm perfectly fine with the indisputable fact that my youngest child is graduating. Other days it's like a cruel confliction going on in my mind. Now, don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy watching my kids grow in every stage of their life. I've been there done that twice before and for crying out loud I lived through that just fine! This time it's not only change for her, but it is change for my husband and myself. Empty nester? I remember hearing that term when I was younger and thinking old people are empty nesters...yeah old people (roll my eyes). So here we are heading into a new stage of our lives. A new season...for all of us. Our youngest daughter will embark on a new journey, in a new city in the fall. Pursuing her college career on a beautiful campus in a place that she has become familiar with since her sister made it her home just about a year ago. It will be quiet in my house, probably too quiet. I may get used to it, but I'm not sure I really want to. Well not just yet that is. My guess is that it will probably lead to more blogging.

Our baby has always been just that "the baby" the one we could hold onto longer. The one that we said had a long way to go before being big like her sisters. The baby....it seems so cliche. We have just a little more than four short weeks before the reality of graduation hits. My stressed out Senior is closing in on the end of her high school career. Where she made memories that will last a lifetime and friends that will carry on through college and what lies beyond. 

The last week has been filled with graduation details. From the delivery of the cap and gown, to making invitations, ordering grad party supplies, Pinterest overload, as well as full swing lacrosse season (8-0 baby!) and Senior prom in less than two weeks (breathe mama...breathe...).  Two days ago I received a shipping confirmation that my recently ordered grad party supplies were on their way. I was excited and finally feeling accomplished, as it seems that as the years go on I tend to procrastinate more. Yesterday I received the first of three shipments, today the second. My daughter saw me bring it in off the front porch. "What's that?" "Your banner or at least one of them." I replied. She watched as I opened the small rectangular cardboard package. I released the tape that secured the tightly wrapped roll. Slowly, I unveiled what was inside, the Congratulations Graduate, Class of 2016 banner in all its glory. My daughter's eyes welled up with tears. A reaction I wasn't expecting. There it was, I guess, the first reality of the transition to adulthood. The fact that she will be graduating was now evident. The place she called home for more than 18 years will be 400 miles away come September. Yes she will be okay and yes she will grow wings she never knew she had. And I can't wait to watch! But today as she cried from the stress of it all coming to a head. It was like watching my baby fall off the bike when she was uncertain if she could ride it. I reached out to hug her and tell her everything will be alright. I know it will and  I know she will transition just fine. I gave her another reassuring hug and wiped away the tear on her face as tears filled mine. 

As she walked out the door to Lacrosse practice with tears she turned back around and said "Mom can we get some ice cream later?"  Of course we can get some ice cream... I will always want to get ice cream. Not for the reason that it is an exceptionally delicious treat, that I can't turn down but for the time I will spend with my ever growing baby girl. So if you have the time today treat yourself or someone you love to some ice cream~because we all know it really isn't about the ice cream. 

Best start putting first things first, 
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip over and start again
Take every breath God gives you for what it's worth...

Bread

BREAD

Once upon a time I bought a bread maker. It was a big, white, bulky machine. I would put my ingredients (in a special order) into the pan, set the timer and it would work its magic. A couple hours later, I would have fresh baked bread and my house smelled like a bakery. A few years later the novelty wore off and that big, white, bulky bread machine took up too much space on my countertop and it ended up on a garage sale table. Fast forward to 2015, I am once again baking bread, minus the bread maker! I discovered a delicious bread recipe thanks to my "counterpart" (ahem) The Pioneer Woman. I happened to google a bread recipe and quite frankly I love Ree Drummond so when I read "The Bread" recipe by The Pioneer Woman I looked no further. It was so easy, easily adaptable and it absolutely delicious, I felt the need to share.

Ingredients:
3 C flour 
8 oz. of water (or 1 cup.)
4 oz. melted butter (about a stick before melted)
 chopped herbs of choice (I used basil and garlic) 
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon active or instant yeast. (I put this into the water before mixing with dry ingredients)

Combine all ingredients in a stand mixer. I use a kitchen aid one. If you don't have one, buy one! You will not regret it, trust me on that!

Mix the dough, with the dough hook, for about 10 minutes. I cleaned out a cabinet while mine mixed :) It is ready when the dough stretches without tearing (picture Stretch Armstrong). Place the ball of dough onto a lightly floured surface and cover with plastic wrap to rise (1-3 hours).

Once  the dough has doubled in size, you will knead it a few times to distribute the yeast. 

Preheat oven to 450°

Cut a large X into to the top of the dough. Place dough in a cast iron pan drizzled with olive oil. Drizzle additional oil on top of dough. Cover and bake for 30 minutes, uncover and bake an additional 15-20 minutes. I also sprinkled a little fresh Italian cheeses on top the last few minutes of baking. You don't have to use cheese, its still delicious without. 

This recipe is simple and so yummy. Enjoy!

"Give us this day our daily bread" -Matthew 6:11

Pumpkin Pancakes

Pumpkin Pancakes

It's that time of year again; falling leaves and cool crisp air. Halloween is just around the corner and Thanksgiving will be here before we know it. So, what do I do when summer turns to fall? I celebrate the season with pumpkin of course! Pumpkin spice coffee, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cake, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies (check out my two ingredient dessert recipe blog posted awhile back for an awesome pumpkin muffin/cookie recipe it is at the bottom of the page) and pumpkin pie.  After a recent visit to IHOP, I decided to embark on a new recipe creation this year-pumpkin pancakes.

They were so simple I had to share.

Ingredients for approximately 6 pancakes
1 Cup Pancake mix (I used the just add water type-easy peasy)
1 teaspoon Pumpkin pie spice
1/4 Cup Canned pumpkin (Libby's pie filling for example)
1 Cup of water (for crepes add more water to make a very thin pancake aka a crepe 😉)

Mix all ingredients together
Spray griddle or skillet with cooking spray/butter
Cook over medium heat.
Drizzle with syrup of your choice
Delicious!

A Christmas Story House

A Christmas Story House in Cleveland, Ohio

As I turned onto W. 11th Street my eyes were peeled, waiting for it...looking...watching...THEN there it was, in all it's glory. A mustard yellow, craftsman style home with green trim, a string of c-7 or c-9 lights along the front porch roof. The picture window lit up by nothing other than the holiest of holies- a fishnet stocking covered, stiletto wearing, lady leg lamp aka "the major award." I felt like Ralphie peering through the Higbee Department Store window at the Holy Grail of Christmas gifts- THE Red Ryder Carbine Action 200-shot Range Model air rifle!




It was home to the Parker Family in 1983's A Christmas Story. The story is set in 1940, in Hammond, Indiana, though the house is in Cleveland, Ohio. The home was used in filming of the movie, as well as a soundstage and filming locations in Canada. The history of the purchase, restoration and opening of the home is quite interesting. The house was acquired on ebay, renovated, and opened for A Christmas Story enthusiasts everywhere, including myself (and my 25 year old daughter who delighted in the fact that we were venturing to Ralphie and Randy's childhood home)!


In addition to the house, there is a museum and gift shop across the street. You must purchase your tickets in the gift shop to tour the home.

The house is all hands on. You can touch (and play) with everything! I felt like a kid on Christmas! I could not wait to step through the threshold of the Parker home. you have a tour guide, who is full of interesting facts. I really wanted to listen to her but I could not help but play house in a A Christmas Story kind of way. From a family portrait on the wall, there is a wooden crate with FRAGILE stenciled, a decked out Christmas Tree, bright red Lifebuoy soap in the bathroom, the completely replicated kitchen, boys bedroom, major award, Red Ryder bb gun and even a gift from Aunt Clara-the pink bunnysuit with matching bunny slippers fit for any four year old girl or yourself, they have them in small, medium and large for you to relive the complete horror Ralphie did that Christmas in 1940. Take lots of pictures and play out the antics of The Parker family. You will have sweet memories for many years...we did!




The museum across the street holds many of the original props and costumes worn by the actors including Randy's snowsuit, the Higbee's Christmas window display, hats, books...and many more.  The gift shop, well I wanted everything! Including my very own gift from Aunt Clara. I could not pass up a bar of Lifebuoy soap.



I cannot explain the complete joy I had visiting this house. I was intrigued, I felt like it was 1940 and I was part of the somewhat familiar dysfunctional Parker family.


If you get the chance I encourage you to road trip to 3159 W. 11th St., Cleveland, Ohio.


The cost of the tour is $10 and some change (adult), and they offer a AAA discount. Completely worth it!

My prodigal daughter...

I posted this on my Facebook page a few weeks back. These feelings remain and they are real.

Almost ten years ago, my daughter left our home. She had just turned 18 and and knew everything there ever was to know about life! Or so she thought...

Ten years I have waited to restart and restore the mother/daughter relationship I had always wished for with my firstborn. In a way, it has been like a death in our family. Gone is the beloved daughter, sister, cousin, niece and granddaughter. Physically she is able yet the distance remains. I don't want sympathy. I have hope that someday my prodigal daughter will return to her roots. We are a thriving family, we continue to have faith and believe all things are possible.

What I do want is to stress to all young girls and the young men who wish to win their hearts and the love of that young girl's family-"You are and always will be a vital part of your family. NO ONE person should ever want to take you away from that. If they love you, they want you to be with the people who love you most (your family). Just because you are a teen who may think your parents are the most God awful people on this earth, they only want what is best for you and want to see you thrive. The person you fall in love with should make you a better person! No relationship is bias. Someday. (I hope and pray) you will appreciate all that your parents have done and will continue to do for you."

Parenting is a very tough job. When your kids get older and you go from parenting to being their friend it is one of the most amazing experiences." Enjoy it!

I am grateful everyday for my friends and family that help me get through the tough times. I have two beautiful daughters who give me more love and appreciation than than I could have ever asked for. I don't have the answers and I whole heartedly believe everything happens for a reason and not on our time but God's time...

So Hey God it's about time you send her home 😕